Milestones 2009

This year was just simply HUGE on every level for Robert, Mary and I; individually and collectively, we’ve experienced such growth & have come through some challenges that have strengthened us spiritually and emotionally. It truly has been a great year and now – it’s pretty much gone and SO much has happened that it has been a big blur.
I felt that I would just list some of the biggest highlights and milestones for Mary because as you know – whatever successes she experiences, Mom & Dad do, too!

*Mary began her early intervention class in the school system!
*Mary experienced her first Valentine’s party at school AND got to receive Valentine love from Mama & Dada.
*Mary’s speech and language development has continued to SOAR with the assistance of her hearing impaired educator, speech therapist, her summer at Bill Wilkerson at Vanderbilt and with careful monitoring of her audiologists, ENT and pediatrician. She has successfully and literally expanded her vocabulary in lightening speed thanks to her ‘team’! Still has a ways to go but since January 13th 2009 to present – it has been remarkable - especially since her only words were “bye-bye” and “no” when she first came home with us from China.
*Oh – and to date, Mary STILL has fluid in her ears. We are predicting PE tubes, tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy in January. That will be confirmed on Monday, January 4, 2009……stay tuned.
*Mary experienced her first Easter!
*Mary got in the tubes and rocked out on the lake!
*Mary had such a successful report from her cardiologist’s visit in June that she doesn’t have to see him again until next FALL!!!!
*Mary has been selected as “Student of the Month” for April, “Terrific Helper” and was also chosen as “Cool Calendar Helper” for this semester at school! She truly is a good student in that she’s very eager and self-motivated to learn!
*Mary now recognizes who her family members are and has developed an especially close bond with her Grandpa, GeeGee & PopPop and big brother Brian and big sister (Jei Jei), Jennifer! Mary LOVES her family and ….well, the family LOVES Mary!
Mary continues to enjoy Sunday School and automatically puts her hand together at the table and prays! We don’t know what she says all the time, but we give thanks to God that HE knows and that He honors her little heart!
*The bond built between Robert & I (and continues to grow!) has been such a foundation for Mary that she KNOWS who her parents are! We feel that she has successfully bonded to us as we have to her and by this time next year, it will be surreal that Mary has been home with us just a bit longer – than she ever lived in China. We are so proud of her!
*As her parents, we continue to process the moments where we ‘missed it’ and make changes for the better but more importantly – we also have learned to give ourselves a break, throw down big-time for all of the successes and give glory to God for helping us become good stewards of this gift He gave us!

We continue on to 2010 with a sincere and renewed spirit to model to Mary that God and His word is consistent, is the very best for us and is everything to us! Without Him – our world would be total darkness but when darkness comes, we are still able to find the joy in His everlasting light!

May His strength, abundance of love and mercy be in your hearts throughout the rest of this year and next!!!!!

Movin' on & into the Holidays!

So much has happened since our little get-away in October! Regarding our little MoMo, she had that follow up audiology appointment to establish a baseline for her hearing, right? Well, that didn’t fare well because mid-way through the testing, Mary was losing interest and just not participating like she usually does; Jeanne & Sarah, her audiologists were able to get Mary checked out rather quickly in the office by a doctor on site who noticed FLUID in her ears!!! So – her next appointment is in a week and we hope she’s able to complete it and establish her baseline although she’s experienced a couple of severe nose bleeds and still has a cough…..here’s hoping anyway and praying she doesn’t have any kind of pneumonia. As we anticipate a success with the next appointment, we go into January with a consult at Vanderbilt for Cochlear Implant for her left ear! The thought is that if her left ear is able to process high pitch noises, it will aid her speech tremendously and we’ve been very - VERY fortunate to learn about this technology as well as speak patients who have HAD a cochlear implant. The personal success stories are encouraging and highly motivating to say the least!!

At this point, we’re fired up but it took some processing initially….you know, you always worry about the self-esteem, safety, etc…..we have both agreed that her self-image and self-esteem will fall mostly on how she thinks WE perceive her and hey – hands down we think - she’s the most beautiful, sweet & spicy little piece of heaven in our world and of course, she will always be Dada’s little princess! We hope and pray that as we continue to be totally reliant and dependant on God, that Mary will come into the knowledge of how HE perceives her which, as I understand in His word – is deeper and more passionate that we could ever imagine in this life!
In the meantime, we have committed to embracing the Holidays with everything we’ve got! Thanksgiving was wonderful and we are full throttle, hardcore, ready for Christmas!!!!! It’s a very cool, warm feeling that at least part of the exhaustion……is having fun and playing hard when you can!!! Rock on!

Mary & Dada playing with the camera - OR - Mary's close up!

This is the picture that MARY took of Dada - she excels with her fine motor skills, no doubt!

I took this picture from inside the house, watching 'lil MoMo supervise Dada - now THAT'S the way you mow a lawn!!!

Mary & her GeeGee making Snowmen.....another "first" for Mary!

Ta-Da!!!!!!!......finished product!!

Fall already!

Robert and I cannot believe October is already here! Summer was a blur and while Mary is enjoying another semester at school – we’re wondering where this extra 15 to 20 pounds of added weight came from!!!!!! SO – we are (yes, BOTH Robert & I) trying to get rid of it, stay connected as a family, get the house straight before colder weather and the holidays overtake us……it never stops, does it?!
At any rate, we did get to take some time off! We took Mary to Dollywood and then went to Chattanooga for a couple of days to hang with family. As you’ll be able to see by the pictures, Mary thrives as an active family member –as if she’s always been with us! And its clear to me now that her spirit was with us, alive and strong inside of our hearts before we ever embarked to China. She is remarkable and God is so good to place her where she is loved, respected and treasured!
As our excitement continues to grow for the upcoming holidays, Robert and I are mentally preparing ourselves for Mary’s follow up audiogram which will be in November. It appears that when she was tested at the end of August, her right ear was 5 decibels less than last year. Her right ear is her strong ear! That was very disappointing news – we always knew her hearing would never get better but that the possibility existed that it could get worse; we’re wondering if her initial audiogram last year was a reliable baseline since it was performed before she got her hearing aids. SO – now we will compare the audiogram from August to her new one in November and move on from there.
In the meantime, we wait, pray that God prepares our hearts with praise and thanksgiving regardless of the outcome and continue to trust completely in His perfect will for Mary and us as a family. God is so good and we thank Him for such a joyful experience with our little “Momo”!!! Mary goofin' around with Dada

Mary showin' off her FIRST cowboy boots that Jen bought for her!

NEXT - the video!

Mary & Dada "bowin' up"!!!!

Mary being silly on the Dollywood train!!!

Momma luvvvvvin' on Mary!

Time, Transitions & Attitude

I have said before that time has always been a friend to us; yet, this summer it seems that time has been moving so fast and hard that just when we think we’ve actually gotten a hold of this precious commodity for ourselves as a family – we’re sucking it up again, busting out of the dugout and literally running to wherever it is we have to be! I can’t really whine about it as Robert and I are seeing Mary make these startling turns and oh – those moments make you forget that you’re exhausted in the first place.
Most everyone can relate to a parent’s weariness, but Robert and I have been more concerned about the toll it’s taken on Mary. While the efforts this summer have been put in place to help her get to where she needs to be, she’s tired too! We’ve been so busy that we haven’t always seen how the demands have affected her until we actually catch a quiet moment. The amazing thing is that though her eyelids get heavy or the corners of her mouth start to quiver and she gets quiet……she can still manage the most genuine, sweet and engaging smile….its as if she understands and like any great team player, she continues to hang tough and play it hard and smart right along with Momma & Dada. I so admire her!
So – Robert and I have adjusted to our new schedule changes and baby girl not only finished up her summer sessions at Vanderbilt on a Friday but went straight into her fall semester at her school in Wilson County the next Monday. WHEW! Things seem to be leveling out now and as we realize the progress we’ve made this summer, it has made the running well worth it and the craziness make sense. We ran a great race, we crossed the finish line together as a family and we continue to thank God for giving us strength and endurance!
As we transition into the fall, we try to focus on all of the blessings God has poured out to us, in spite of the circumstances in the world. I know for myself, and I pray that Mary’s heart may be one day compelled as well, to wake up each day – grateful. Robert and I are very grateful to God for our employers as we could not make such
changes in our life to benefit Mary if it weren’t for them. We are grateful to our family for loving on Mary and for taking care of her when we can’t (BIG shout out to Grandpa & Gee Gee!).
We are very grateful to God that He has placed the most amazing, wise, gifted and compassionate instructors in Mary’s path! We are grateful to God for each other and for the gift of our daughter, and for the freedom that we have in our relationship with Him. God Rocks – let the good times roll!!!!!!

OVERDUE UPDATE!

(Photo of Mary that Jennifer took after Jennifer took her shopping @ the Green Hills Mall! - oh my!)
I am lonnnng overdue for an update – life has been happening waaay too fast and then I’ve been battling some severe bronchitis since last week. I have suspicions that some flu was riding piggy back on that one, too!
So – I’m gonna blog pictures from what’s been going on in our world, starting from Father’s Day! It was great – Mary’s still trying to grasp the art of GIVING a present – its sooo cute! We had a Businda Father’s Day celebration at Aunt Nancy’s and Mary got to meet her Uncle Tim for the first time – FUN! Mary also took some pictures and I’m not exaggerating when I say my 3 ½ year old takes some pretty good pics!
On the learning front, Mary is totally ROCKIN' at her summer sessions at Vanderbilt! She appears to be on what's considered a language explosion and just LOVES her classmates and instructors. I think it has also been very beneficial that Mary has been exposed to classmates that have hearing aids, just like hers! The instructors inform us that Mary continues to be a big helper, eagar to learn and participate. As a matter of fact, there's an observation window (well many of them throughout the center) but one in particular that caregivers can take a peek through at the end of the session before they pick the kids up; It has been SUCH a thrill and a blessing to see our little MoMo in the midst of the music circle, engaged, singing and playing with her classmates and teachers! She's such a smart little girl and is now REALLY developing relationships within the family. We keep our refridgerator covered with family photos and it's so cool to see Mary point at everyone and identify them correctly. Mostly such as Jei Jei (Jennifer) BB (big brother Brian), Gandpa (Grandpa), Nay Nay (Nancy) and of course, Mama and Dada. She's got a keen memory, for sure!!!!
I’ll post pics and video and end it with pictures of Mary and her big sister (Jei Jei) Jennifer. Jennifer took Mary shopping last week which was very, VERY helpful to me because I was laid out bad with this illness! I’d say they bonded great and our little MoMo just LOVES her Jei Jei!!!! Oh yeah, Jennifer has successfully taught Mary how to pose her little legs when she has some spiffy shoes on – can’t let her grow up TOO fast!!! Enjoy!!!

Now, here's pics from Father's Day at Nancy's house along with pics that MoMo took!!!

Mary's picture of Kenny and Diane!

Mary's picture of DaDa and Uncle Tim!

Mary's picture of Dada at Home - wasn't Father's Day but hey - a classic for sure!!!! Mary's picture of MaMa

Now this picture, Nancy took at our house - Mary with her Uncle TIM!!!!

Mary and her Uncle David

Mary & Grandpa!

Finishing up, the photo op - a GREAT video of Mary with Jei Jei's shoes on and photos of she and Jennifer the day they went shopping!!!! God Bless Everyone!!!

PS......I forgot to mention that Mary LOOOOOVES THE WATER!!!!!

Where did the month GO?!?!

The past week and a half have been spent catching our breath and celebrating! First, we're VERY grateful that my husband survived a collision that could have otherwise taken his life. It truly is a miracle he is alive and that whole story is a "Dateline" segment in of itself; so without making the entire blog about that, it is fair and accurate to say that God's hand was on my husband's vehicle and his life, especially 2 days before we left to go out of town to renew our wedding vows! (Breath caught, now exhale! LOL!)
Next, when we came back into town from our intimate time together as man and wife, we took off with Mary to Chattanooga to celebrate her with my side of the family - we had a blast and were reminiscing of how fast one year with Mary has been! So now, back home, we've had the greatest time with 'Lil MoMo. Our play time has come to an end and while we prepare to go back to work and Mary begins her summer school, it seems as though we blinked and we're wondering where the month of May went!!!! So, here's some pics to enjoy and while May flies by - it's been a wonderful, unforgettable month!!!!

Momma enjoying the gifts from Mary and DaDa on Mother's Day

Mary holdin' out on Momma on Mother's Day!

The pacific ocean, me and Robert along US 1.

Robert & I waiting for the ferry

Robert & I almost halfway through our 10 mile bike ride to Sausalito - we "BIKED THE BRIDGE"!!!

Momma & MoMo

GranCindy, Mary and Grandad!

A blast posing at Mushroom Rock in Rock city!

Mary as a kitty kat!
Hey - now there's TWO kitty kats!

Our sweet Mary, striking a pose and loving life!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

One year. Three hundred sixty five days of loving and living with the daughter God promised Robert and I. What a year it has been and by faith, we anticipate so many more with Mary! Robert and I have discussed at length how we would celebrate this event and after much thought and prayers – we decided we would celebrate it as it started…..just the three of us!
How time has flown from the first night all three of us were together as a family in that hotel in Hefei City, China. Mary was so scared and just grieved and wailed the night away, perhaps realizing that the life she knew for only over a couple of years had changed dramatically forever….with people she had never seen before. She had no clue, no preparation, she sees these two adults that don’t look like anyone in her world, and she is placed in their arms and she has now left all that she ever knew. Robert slept on the couch, pretty much the whole trip (like most of the other fathers) as Mary would hardly have anything to do with him and as for me…….well, that first night, I cried right along with Mary, rocking her, singing the lullaby I wrote to her, and realizing I was probably as scared as she was – or more so – realizing my life, everything I knew and was comfortable with was changed forever as well.
So began this journey and how close we have grown as a family! To date, her relationship with her father is typical and yet, fairytale. Our little Mo loooovvves to work with DaDa and get dirty with him while he’s working on cars, or cleaning or playing in the dirt and boy – can she get dirty! And then, her fairytale moments come into place such as how Dada has taught her how to dance with him - it is absolutely precious! Robert will ask Mary if she will take this dance with him, he’ll bow and extend his hand and she is smitten…she’ll bow back and they are a pair, dancing all through the living room, cheek to cheek and I’m the lucky spectator at the ball, witnessing a Father treat his little girl like such a little princess; delicately, respectfully, with such an innocent tenderness that makes the moment count…..to remember always. She loves her Dada and yes - - - she is a “Daddy’s Girl”!
Mary is the best girlfriend, girly girl and giggle buddy that I could ever imagine and I am forever her biggest fan, her proudest coach, her watchful guardian and intercessor. I am both fascinated and intrigued at the dynamics of this push/pull relationship of mother and daughter. Even through the miracle of adoption, my baby angel innately knows what buttons to push, what will break my heart with just a look and send me falling to my knees with laughter. Just the mere thought of her within my day, no matter where I’m or what I’m doing – one thought of Mary can make the world stop.
The three of us together is a party waiting to happen! Momma and Dada make a great tag team (especially when she wants to throw down) and boy, when we’re all playing – it’s screams and giggles all around. Just the other day though, our little Mo comes running into our bedroom (waayyy too early in the morning, of course) with a DVD of Cinderella that we bought her the night before. She slept with it because it was too late when we got home and we promised her we’d watch it in the morning. Well……daylight peers in the cracks of her blinds and she is OFF that bed and making a trail to our room! So – she’s in the middle of our bed between us clutching her beloved DVD while we’re slowly waking up and she really is being a very good, patient little girl. She almost fell asleep with us and the next moment became one that is ingrained in my memory forever. I’m turning to admire baby girl, and Robert turns to admire her and then we catch each other’s eye. It was a look that spoke volumes between us without saying a word. The look of true love between a husband and wife, the look that says, “I love you, I’m in love with you and this little life between us is God’s gift to us. This is it, we’re more invested now than we’ve ever been and because God planned it before the foundations of the earth, there’s no turning back. Ever”.
My and Robert’s world, our love as we know it has expanded beyond ourselves and has found a new dimension in our daughter Mary Katherine Businda. What an incredible responsibility to uphold and yet an honor and a blessing at the same time! Thank you God, for trusting us to be the parents that Mary needs us to be, for your promises, and for stating that whatever you put together – let no man put asunder. Happy Anniversary to the day God made us a family – it has been an amazing year!