Staying Grounded

Right off the bat, I don't have any "new" pictures because....well....my camera broke. REALLY! So I'm getting a new one this weekend and I am waiting to unveil new pictures of our upcoming family adventure! It's gonna be a good one, so stay tuned!
Well, 'staying grounded' kind of has a different ring in our household lately. Mary has been very ill with bacterial pneumonia and it has only been in the last couple of days that she's starting to really feel better, have an appetite (she's lost about 2 pounds) she's free of the fever that I thought would NEVER go away and her cough is not lingering as much nor is it as intense as it was. I know her little chest is so sore. So - we've all been 'grounded' in that sense, feeling very confined in our own home, leaving the house only to go to work, to get groceries or go to the doctor.
I remember that while we were in our adoption process that just waiting to see a picture of this gift God gave us seemed like it would never happen. Every day was a different dog and pony show of hoops we had to jump through in order to do our part for God's miracle to manifest. Most of the times mind you, this process seemed relentless in the redundancy, the bureaucracy, the doubt, that left us emotionally and physically drained. It was hard to stay grounded in the sense of staying the course with the focus and persistance that God requires. And then - just as Christmas of last year was coming around the bend, the burden of time and waiting was lifted, our joy was increased and our hearts were stunned in awe at the beautiful picture of our daughter God promised us. We finally got a glimpse of the incredible gift that awaited us on the other side of this world. How humble we become when deep in the midst of all of our complaining, moaning and whining - God gently reveals His committment to us. And He never does it halfway, our little Mary is waaayyyy far and beyond what we ever expected and His excellence validates that. So last Christmas was very, very sweet but THIS Christmas - the 'picture' will be alive and well and ...wow, who knows what Mary will think of her first Christmas????? SO -
We're trying to learn from our last bout of whining to God to get through THIS season of waiting by trying to stay grounded.......and focused with a healthier attitude. (No pun intended) Our mantra has become, "we can't wait for the day when Mary doesn't have to see a doctor every week"! Our desire to see our daughter OUT of doctor's offices are not of selfish intentions but if Mary could talk to us now (cause we know she will soon) we're pretty confident she would tell us how tired she is of being dragged to different doctors offices, like - all the time! We may not be able to hear that from her, but we sure can see it! We never saw THIS illness coming but while we know that God is in control and He knows how the end of the movie plays out, Like any parent, we just want to see our child healthy, happy, peaceful and.........grounded. We hang tough and remind ourselves that - Christmas is just around the corner!!!

A little news and MORE pics!

Alright, already - I KNOW it's been awhile but there's a lot goin on!!! Anyway, yesterday we got a call from the audiologist (Eric McDaniels ROCKS!) and Mary's hearing aids came in! Her ear molds were not in yet, but the electronic device was there and we could still get the aids and use them until the molds came in - we were THERE!!! We were so focused on the process of Eric putting her hearing aids in that we TOTALLY forgot to video tape it but I'm sure we'll have more to tape soon. The bottom line is that when Eric was behind her and almost whispered her name, she smiled and turned her head to him!!!! Tears were streaming down my eyes and Robert was pretty teared up too! Her eyes have a different sparkle to them and even her smile is different. In 24 hours, she already realizes that she hears better WITH them on so it's really great that if one slips out, she comes up to us and motions for us to put it back in her ear!!!! With that, we can't wait to get her permanent molds so that they will stay in and fit better. Beyond this milestone, Eric informed us that each week or so, he would be increasing the percentage of amplification in her hearing aids around a 10% increment - - that's pretty amazing seeing that since we're in the low end already, she seems to be hearing almost perfectly! Still alot more to do, but I'll post that as it happens but HEY WORLD - Mary Businda is ready to ROCK HARD AND STRONG!!! WOO HOO!!!

In the meantime, I want to post some pics from my niece's wedding, Mrs. Tony Hays; she had the most beautiful ceremony as we were getting Mary from China and we are just so proud of her and LOVE her husband Shawn - they are a blessing to this family!

Next, is more photos of Mary having fun in the playground with me and her Aunt Lori, hanging out with Momma and Dada, Brian B and her Jei-Jei Jennifer!!!!

Pictures for Now

Well, Mary goes to Kosairs Children's Hospital September 9th for her final and more extensive ABR test and then-----hearing aids ASAP!!!!! YIPPEEEEE!!!!! In the meantime, here are some pictures from

• Breakfast at Cracker Barrel in Manchester with GeeGee and Aunt Lori - and -

• More from Cody's wedding!!!!!!

Mary and GeeGee!!!!

Mary trying on the wings GeeGee got her!!!!!

Mary and Aunt Lori checking out the fish in the park!!!!! My Curious Mary!!!! Me & Robert enjoying a slow dance and....

Robert and Mary enjoying a "first" formal Dance!
Mary with Uncle KennyCody and Diane deep in the Mother/Son dance
Mr. & Mrs. Hays......and their baby too!!!! HeeHee!!!!

Toni and Mallori-----BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

Momma trying to talk Mary into showing her dance moves to Uncle David and Jacob!

Our happy, intimate family!

......Here's the Latest!

Is my baby girl just the cutest little nurse you ever saw?!?!? Anyway - just HAD to dress her in the scrubs "GEEGEE" (Grandmother) got her! I promised myself that I would not dress her in her scrubs until I passed my state nursing boards so....TA-DAAA - I DID IT!!!! Yea! I will begin my orientation/preceptorship in the ICU right after Labor Day which works out great because we have to jump on some major appointments for Mary!!!!

First, Mary pretty much had exploratory surgery on her ears and we were hoping that the Dr. would find fluid or infection behind the eardrum, but he didn't!!! He said her ears were very clean although he did dig out MORE wax! SO - suspecting a sensory-neural hearing loss, we had a follow up appointment today and the doctor ran what was called an ABR, which basically checks frequencies and ultimately determines any nerve damage. Well, in a nutshell, Mary has severe hearing loss in her left ear and moderate hearing loss in her right ear. Interestingly enough, the audiologist interjected that perhaps in her recovery during/after her heart surgery, that sometimes Drs' will give such a big dose of high potent anti-biotics, such as Gentamycin, that it could cause some damage to her hearing. On the other hand, our ENT Dr. also brought up the fact that Mary's hearing loss could have well been congenital as well, in addition to her heart defect. At any rate, Mary will have a more extensive ABR test done at Vanderbilt and THEN, she'll be fitted for some hearing aids! We are SOOOOO excited about that as she is at such a crucial age to really develop her speech which is behind. She started speech therapy this past Tuesday and did GREAT!!!!! Again, everyone -

specialist/doctors comment on her intelligence and we are grateful to God that her team of healthcare professionals are so genuinely concerned for her to get her hearing and speech to a level where she can excel with MUCH less frustration! We are so proud of Mary, she does SO great at the doctors offices with all the tests she undergoes. It's great to be around people rooting for her - we are very confident that Mary will be rockin' harder than ever, soon!

Robert and I are also VERY thankful that we left ourselves open to the child that God had for us because Mary is truly the perfect child for us! Wow - what we would have missed out had we waited for the (according to China, anyway) a perfect, 'healthy' child. As a matter of fact, I recall a statement in Mary's referral that "at 16 months she grew up and became naughty". I thought that was cute and funny at firt.....but I was also suspicious when in her referral that there was no checkmark beside the box, 'speaks 3-5 words' or hardly anything regarding communication. Still, we were at peace and ready for anything that might otherwise be missed regarding Mary's health - God, showed us then (and now!) that this was (IS) our daughter! With that, the only times we've ever had any behavior issues with Mary is when she can't communicate what she wants or worse, can't understand what we're trying to convey - it's really heartbreaking to see her frustration cause she can get really hurt, angry and tearful....and I can't blame her. I cringe to think how she may have been treated in China knowing that her caregivers or the orphanage had no clue to her hearing loss and automatically labeled her as 'naughty'. My heart sinks when I think how many YEARS it would have taken for anyone over there to recognize it and feel strongly that perhaps they may have assumed that Mary was mentally challenged or something...well, who knows?!?! God has reminded me not to 'go there' because the fact is, is that Mary is HOME and with the knowledge we have now, the professionals helping her out and all the love, heart and passion that Robert and I have for this precious little soul - I have to focus on the bright future that God has for her.

This experience is even more amazing in that my partner, the love of my life, Robert is such a strong advocate, loyal commrade, fierce and determined with such dignity and grace that I know he will inspire Mary as much as he inspires me! I swear, the journey of marriage has skyrocketed to a new level with our little blessing, Mary and Robert and I are so much better for it! We give all thanks and praise to Jesus our savior for being King in every......EVERY circumstance and if I've said it before, I'll say it again - it's always better to do it God's way than screw it up, our way!!!!

I mentioned earlier in one of my previous postst that our nephew Cody was getting married so here are some pics from that wedding - enjoy!

Mary & Cody


Mary & Grandpa


Me, Mary and Robert

Mary's first party and other "Mary News"!

Well, baby girl is not only getting VERY used to and loving being around the Businda family, but as long as Momma and Papa are within her eyeline, she's getting comfortable being around others and just LOVING the attention! So, it was a very unexpected JOY to observe Mary at her first party, attending the future Mrs. Stefanie Businda's bridal shower!!!! Mary absolutely LOVES Stefanie and I was so overwhelmed in a great way that she just loved being passed around be most everyone and ogled over - WOW! She was sooooo great about it!!!! She also got to meet some of the other extended members of Robert's family and she just did fabulous!!!!

In other news, (I've been putting this information off for awhile because we just have not had a confirmed diagnosis) Mary will be having ear surgery soon! I say "ear surgery" because the diagnostic tests and assessments point to a strong possibility that her ears need tubes, yet there are indications that suggest her hearing challenges could be due to something else SO HERE'S THE THING - the ENT is going to take a look in her ears in Same Day Surgery and hey - if there's fluid behind her eardrums, tubes are goin' in - if not - we'll be looking at other treatment options as well as other possible reasons for why she's having challenges with her hearing. The good news is that she DOES possess some level of hearing and that she understands for the most part what is (or what is trying to be) communicated to her and she responds appropriately, even though she can't quite articulate it through her speech - which of course, is delayed due to the hearing challenge. THAT in of itself has presented a secondary issue but at least - it's getting dealt with aggressively and God could not have presented to us a better ENT than Dr. Bryant! He recognizes the urgency to get her language skills on track as soon as possible as well as getting her hearing issues resolved. He and his staff are truly warm and sincere and we have such a strong sense of PEACE knowing her care is in such skilled and caring hands. God ROCKS!

Mary continues to grow stronger on EVERY level, she is such a sweet and loving little girl, she has such an joyous, infectious little laugh and every encounter with a doctor has always elicited the comment, "Mary is a VERY intelligent little girl" so we know her cognitive skills are not lacking!!!!

We continue to praise GOD for his faithfulness, for blessing us with such a perfect and lovely gift and always reminding us through our children - that no matter how much we love our children, that GOD LOVES THEM MORE AND BEYOND WHAT WE COULD EVER ATTEMPT IN THIS LIFETIME!!! That's how you know He takes care of the little ones!!! ......wow.....enjoy the pics!!!!

Mary getting used to posing for the camera before we go to the party!

Mary and Stefanie having fun!!!

Stefanie's Mom, Stefanie and my rockin' sister-in-law and Stefanie's future mother-in-law - Diane!!!

Mary trying to bat her eyes and get the camera from little dude!

Okay, now she's trying to give him pointers.....or trying to sweet talk him out of it!!!!

Mary is trying out the guest of honor's chair....did I mention she's wearing an ensemble designed by.....Aunt Nancy?!?!?! But, of course!

Okay, so this last one was taken on July 4th with Mary's new friend, Millie! May not have been her first party but it was her first Fourth of July and she and Millie had a great time!!!

Mary, Sadie and Lunch with Aunt Nancy!

Well our sweet Mary is making more contact with friends her age and hopefully once we get a few more doctor appointments out of the way, we'll be working on more playdates! Now, Miss Sadie is the granddaughter of good friends, Jo & Tony Kelly (rockin' guitarist and vocalist)! We enjoyed a great cookout at their house and it seems like Miss Sadie and Mary connected riding in the wagon! Hopefully, I'll have the opportunity to post some pictures down the road with Mary's CUTE friend, Landon!!! But in the meantime, here's Mary and Sadie hangin' out! Next, today - Mary and I met Aunt Nancy for lunch! Nancy works downtown and she picked out an AWESOME place for us to meet, stuff our face and SPLASH IN THE WATER!!!! You GO, Nancy! Nancy is Robert's sister and she is such a treasure to this family - and I know, to MARY as well! Nancy has made Mary the most awesome outfits, blankets, lunch backpacks, curtains - wow.....we don't know of anything that Nancy CAN'T make (or BAKE!) but beyond that awesome talent, Nancy is lovingly devoted to her family, always supportive and it brings Robert and I great joy and peace knowing that her thoughtfulness and generousity will be such a strong influence in Mary's life!! Who knows???? Maybe one day Mary will take a liking to sewing and can be Nancy's protege'....."Project Runway"????? A gold medal in swimming? Who knows.....time will tell!!!! WE LOVE YOU NANCY!!!!! Enjoy pictures!

To Robert: Happy Father's Day

Well, it's the day after Father's Day and this is a picture that Mary gave Robert as a gift! Of course, I took it and I remember when I saw those two just talking and laughing at the kitchen table together that morning, that the moment would make for a great picture, and it did!

Beyond the moment though, Robert the father and Robert the husband has one of the biggest hearts in the whole wide world, second to God. He loves his older children so much and when we started on this journey to get Mary, I wondered just how much room he would have in his heart for her - well, I think the picture says it all! He LOVES THIS LITTLE GIRL and there's nothing in the world that makes my heart smile more than to know she has been appointed an earthly father who really wants the best for her, has her back and will do everything he can for her to help her grow up to be the woman that God desires!

Mary loves him, too! It is endearing to see her reach out for him, nuzzle her head into his chest or just smack his leg to get his attention so that he can pick her up! There's nothing more amusing either than to hear both of them laughing!!! She trusts him. That's HUGE! Anyway, I love you Robert and I love you for the father that you are and will continue to be to our little girl, Mary! You ROCK! Lastly, this next picture is when Robert met Mary for the very first time and I think the eye contact and the visual exchange between them is timeless. That moment will always stand in my mind and heart forever! Enjoy!