HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

One year. Three hundred sixty five days of loving and living with the daughter God promised Robert and I. What a year it has been and by faith, we anticipate so many more with Mary! Robert and I have discussed at length how we would celebrate this event and after much thought and prayers – we decided we would celebrate it as it started…..just the three of us!
How time has flown from the first night all three of us were together as a family in that hotel in Hefei City, China. Mary was so scared and just grieved and wailed the night away, perhaps realizing that the life she knew for only over a couple of years had changed dramatically forever….with people she had never seen before. She had no clue, no preparation, she sees these two adults that don’t look like anyone in her world, and she is placed in their arms and she has now left all that she ever knew. Robert slept on the couch, pretty much the whole trip (like most of the other fathers) as Mary would hardly have anything to do with him and as for me…….well, that first night, I cried right along with Mary, rocking her, singing the lullaby I wrote to her, and realizing I was probably as scared as she was – or more so – realizing my life, everything I knew and was comfortable with was changed forever as well.
So began this journey and how close we have grown as a family! To date, her relationship with her father is typical and yet, fairytale. Our little Mo loooovvves to work with DaDa and get dirty with him while he’s working on cars, or cleaning or playing in the dirt and boy – can she get dirty! And then, her fairytale moments come into place such as how Dada has taught her how to dance with him - it is absolutely precious! Robert will ask Mary if she will take this dance with him, he’ll bow and extend his hand and she is smitten…she’ll bow back and they are a pair, dancing all through the living room, cheek to cheek and I’m the lucky spectator at the ball, witnessing a Father treat his little girl like such a little princess; delicately, respectfully, with such an innocent tenderness that makes the moment count…..to remember always. She loves her Dada and yes - - - she is a “Daddy’s Girl”!
Mary is the best girlfriend, girly girl and giggle buddy that I could ever imagine and I am forever her biggest fan, her proudest coach, her watchful guardian and intercessor. I am both fascinated and intrigued at the dynamics of this push/pull relationship of mother and daughter. Even through the miracle of adoption, my baby angel innately knows what buttons to push, what will break my heart with just a look and send me falling to my knees with laughter. Just the mere thought of her within my day, no matter where I’m or what I’m doing – one thought of Mary can make the world stop.
The three of us together is a party waiting to happen! Momma and Dada make a great tag team (especially when she wants to throw down) and boy, when we’re all playing – it’s screams and giggles all around. Just the other day though, our little Mo comes running into our bedroom (waayyy too early in the morning, of course) with a DVD of Cinderella that we bought her the night before. She slept with it because it was too late when we got home and we promised her we’d watch it in the morning. Well……daylight peers in the cracks of her blinds and she is OFF that bed and making a trail to our room! So – she’s in the middle of our bed between us clutching her beloved DVD while we’re slowly waking up and she really is being a very good, patient little girl. She almost fell asleep with us and the next moment became one that is ingrained in my memory forever. I’m turning to admire baby girl, and Robert turns to admire her and then we catch each other’s eye. It was a look that spoke volumes between us without saying a word. The look of true love between a husband and wife, the look that says, “I love you, I’m in love with you and this little life between us is God’s gift to us. This is it, we’re more invested now than we’ve ever been and because God planned it before the foundations of the earth, there’s no turning back. Ever”.
My and Robert’s world, our love as we know it has expanded beyond ourselves and has found a new dimension in our daughter Mary Katherine Businda. What an incredible responsibility to uphold and yet an honor and a blessing at the same time! Thank you God, for trusting us to be the parents that Mary needs us to be, for your promises, and for stating that whatever you put together – let no man put asunder. Happy Anniversary to the day God made us a family – it has been an amazing year!

Catch Up!

I know, I know - been a looonnnnnng time posting but hey - we've been busy!!!! Well, unfortunately, I missed Mary's first Easter as I was at work! (wah!) But Dada is always available and of course, made it count bigtime with our 'lil Mo Mary!!! (This is one of her many nicknames we're coming up with!)

This first pic is one that Mary's hearing impaired educator took of her when she was Easter Egg hunting at school - awesome huh?!??! Again, Robert and I are so delighted and at peace with the love and care and instruction that Mary continues to get at school - God has truly placed the most amazing people in Mary's path!

So - after a big day at The Bridge Fellowship on Easter Sunday, Robert took Mary to the annual Businda Easter throw down! This year it was at Uncle Kenny's house so that was awesome! Soooo many people and so many outfits! Mary was in one beautiful Easter Dress at church (Aunt Nancy made, of course) then changed into the other beautiful Easter Dress at Kennys' (again....Aunt Nancy) and then when it was time for the big hunt - DaDa changes her into proper competition wear with her "Fighting Irish" jersey!!! There is some video footage but I haven't had time to download it yet but I promise you, I will! Enjoy the pictures of our baby girl who is growing up waaayyy too fast!!!!

Mary's Yellow Easter Dress!

Mary scoping out the field of hidden Easter Eggs before the big hunt!


Our little Mo in action!


Dada and his baby princess! Okay, I don't know why but in these next two pictures Mary seems to be disinterested or distracted but at any rate - she's with her two favorite fellas!!!

Mary and her bodyguard, Jacob!!!

Mary getting to know her cousin, Teresa - Teresa rocks and we LOVE HER!!!! Mary is blessed to be knowing more family members and such members that will be a support, blessing and good influence on her! Time has flown and we can't believe we're only a bit of a week away from having Mary in our lives for one year! She's already such a strong individual and yet she's growing up to be so lovely, too! As parents, I don't think Robert and I realized how much we would be inspired by our daughter's fierceness, her beauty, her passion and zeal to learn and try to master everything; more importantly, her amazing ability to love so abundantly and affectionately! On one hand, being affectionate and showing affection is something that we know she has modeled from us. But on the other hand, it has taken Mary time to open up and take the risk to RECEIVE our genuine affection. We can tell she has grown to display it from her heart and I'm glad she continues to experience it by watching the interaction between her parents and others and I'm grateful she takes pleasure in giving it too! She is truly learning to live this life full of love !

"Terrific Helper !!!"

So, now I'm gonna brag!! Robert and I were fortunate to have the day available to both of us last week to go to Mary's school for the "Tiger Awards"!!! We were overwhelmed at the number of parents that showed up to support their children and the gymnasium was just full of laughter, excitement and pre-schoolers and young'uns!!!!
Mary was glancing around at all the adults and it was just precious when she spotted Robert and I in the stands just looking at her! She was waving frantically with the biggest smile on her face and it just made our hearts melt that she was happy to see us and she just relaxed back with her teachers and classmates and enjoyed the rest of the program. It was really cool to see her search us out every once in a while and smile and wave at us!

With that said, Mary not only got the "Student of the Month" award for April (her picture is in the hallway trophy case at school - the first picture posted!!!) but she won an award for being one of the "Terrific Helpers!!" She surely is! We got a little clip of the video - it's soooo cute!

She is doing so well at school and since she is becoming more verbal, we have enrolled her in an oral/auditory summer school session at Vanderbilt! What's cool about this opportunity is that she will be around other hearing impaired students as she is the only hearing impaired child in her class currently; so as she's hanging out with some new friends, she'll realize that she's not the only one who wears these devices called hearing aids although we believe she already accepts this naturally. She will always be our special angel and the only 'special need' we know she will ever need is just the abundance of love, support and guidance that any parent can provide for their child! Enjoy our little clip of our "Terrific Helper"!!!!!

Mary and Springtime

Well here's a glimpse of Mary out in the yard - it's amazing to watch her; She used to be so terrified of the grass and everything and now its all we can do to keep her inside! We are so loving these days and sharing them with Mary. Enjoy the other pics!

Spring....and reflecting

This music selection reflects how I feel when Robert, Mary or God come to mind and I call out to them. So today, as I’m enjoying the music, I’m kicking back a little, looking outside and seeing these small glimpses of spring! The warmer weather, colorful blooms and greener landscapes just inspire and motivate me. It also reminds me of this time last year – we were two months away from meeting baby girl face to face for the first time and I swear – the cycles of the seasons seemed to reflect exactly where our hearts and minds were; our hopes, prayers and promise of the near future, fully realized were building with every bud about to burst!
So now – today – we are exactly 2 months and one day away from celebrating our first year anniversary with Mary!!!!! It’s as if she’s always been with us. Always. Time is and has always been a friend but we will truly savor this spring and summer since Mary knows us as Momma and Dada! No longer do we have to worry about her being afraid of where she is or who she is with – I can tell that she knows she is home, forever, with her forever family. As a family, we finally feel we’re in the groove of life with schedules and activities and plans to make and get through. So NOW – we’re REALLY looking forward to planning the boat trips, playing outside, spending longer days together, enjoying other activities, spending it with other family members because - we know that Mary is comfortable and feels safe, knowing she is where she's supposed to be.
And other than reflecting on how our life continues to turn upward with Mary, there’s not a whole lot going on but I can promise you……May 5, 2009……we’re throwin’ down!!! Don’t know where, or who else will be present with us, but…if it's just the three of us - or three hundred….we will be celebrating one full year of our sweet daughter’s presence in our lives - - bigtime!

Mary's first Valentine

Well first off - the Elvis tunes are a tribute to my hubby cause he's an Elvis fan and I thought they were cute enhancements to these pictures of Mary's party at school! It was soooo cute and I'm so glad Mrs. Nicole was cool with me being there! There were times Mary didn't know quite what to make of it, but she LOVED it - just look at her face when her Valentine box was placed in front of her!!!! ENJOY!!!

Mary is helping Mrs. Nicole and her aide get out some Valentines to deliver to her buddies!

Mary getting a Valentine from a Titan's fan!!!

Check out little blonde dude gazing at my baby girl......awwwwww - and she doesn't even notice - WOOHOO!!!! Party on, my little Valentine!!!!

Love and Sacrifice

Happy Valentine’s Day to my sweet baby girl, Mary and my awesome man, Robert! Wow, there is SOOOO much to tell Mary about love in this life, especially love between a man and a woman….the way GOD intended. I’m sure both Robert and I won’t have all the answers for her, but the best we can do to help lead her to a healthy understanding is to just keep going forward in our marriage, loving God with everything we’ve got while loving each other with everything we’ve got. Good place to start and it’s been a good foundation for the success of our marriage, anyway.
SO – regarding LOVE, we want Mary to know that no matter if or how many times her heart breaks, remain open to keep sowing love. We all make bad choices or miss details, so when the consequence of that is a broken heart, learning from where ‘we missed it’ is the wisdom we carry with us when taking that risk to love again; Putting the wall up because you’ve been hurt not only keeps love OUT – but when we get consumed by our hurt it can deceive us to believe and hold this unrealistic (and unfair) expectation of others that perhaps, we may expect them to love us MORE while we hold out and throw them a bone every once in a while…...yeah, unfortunately there’s a market for that sad (selfish) mentality but it exists and it’s a mindset that we want to make sure Mary doesn’t buy into! If it doesn’t line up with scripture, how can we profess God’s standard regarding giving and receiving love?! Robert and I are committed to teach Mary to weigh and line up her decisions, opinions and choices, especially about love and relationships based on GOD’S WORD. If God’s word conveys that we reap what we sow, then….if you want love, you’ve got to GIVE love!
Sacrifice: When I met Robert and started to get to know him, one of the things I fell in love with was his love for his children and how he had even put aside his dreams of climbing higher at the company he works for – to spend more time with them. He LOVES what he does and LOVES his company and years ago - wanted to live in Louisville and continue his ascent as the doors opened. But more than his career, he loved his children. And while he was a divorced father, his heartfelt desire to BE there for his children, to love them, to build that relationship with them and remain ACTIVE in their lives meant more to him than a promotion or a lateral move outside of the state. Children of divorced parents don’t always have the time and presence they need with BOTH parents (it's more time with just one or the other) and that’s just a sad consequence of divorce; but truly, I’ve never known a man such as Robert that busted his rear to be as much of an active father to his children within the circumstance, as much as he could and can. That was a selling point to me regarding the possibility of taking the relationship we already had to a higher level – his integrity, commitment, love and sacrifice for family. I’m proud and encouraged that Mary has that model, that standard of a man, set as an example when the time comes that she desires such a relationship. Robert has set the bar high.
My last thought of sacrifice and love comes from Mary’s birthmother. I cannot possibly know until we get there, the enormity and importance of what knowledge and closure will mean for Mary. As she continues to grow up and process cognitively God’s miracle of uniting us as mother and daughter, I am trying to brace myself for the lingering questions and anguish she may have of not knowing ‘why’ or ‘who’ or anything more specific of her beginning and our union. THIS I DO KNOW – that her birthmother WANTED her to be found; otherwise she would not have placed Mary so close to the police station. What a risk and sacrifice of love for a mother to make sure her sick, three month old daughter would be found and taken care of. Had she NOT loved Mary she could have easily left her somewhere hidden from everyone to die all alone. I don’t know if we’ll ever know the true circumstance of her birth mother’s decision - if it was financial, if it was because of the one child policy, if it was Mary’s heart defect, or all of the above but it’s painfully obvious that it was a decision based on love for Mary.
A few months before we left for China, I was praying for Mary and her birth mother came to my mind and I just grieved and prayed for her birthmother and begged God to give her a peace in her heart regarding Mary’s well-being. Because I have experienced such peace - being comforting, powerful and healing, I hope and pray that Mary’s birthmother has experienced it and that she has it – she certainly deserves it. Love and sacrifice, designed by God is precious, exquisite and cannot be bought. It makes life worth living…..and celebrating. It is my deepest, heartfelt prayer that Mary realizes that the love of God has been with her and has followed her from His very idea of her in heaven, to her birthmother from across the world, to my heart and her life here with Robert and I until she returns to Him in eternity. That truth should be more than enough to assure her that she is loved. I am grateful that we celebrate such a holiday to express love from the heart!